My food foes

I was inspired to write this blog post because I recently ate something that was probably the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. Even now, as I have violent flashbacks of the horrific-ness that was that food, I cringe and gag.

There aren't many foods that I HATE... only three that comes to mind. Funny thing is, if put in front of me, I will try it again, just to be sure that I do indeed, hate it. I will try anything two or three times...and sometimes maybe even more. I'm forgiving that way...

Here are my Top 3 foods I HATE and will rarely, if ever, cook with. So if you want to participate in my Send me a Project Wifey Wife Recipe, please refrain from these ingredients.

Nemesis Numero Tres- Celery

What? How can you not like celery? It taste like air.
-Ummm... first of all, ::BonQuisha neck roll:: it does NOT taste like air, it taste like celery and it makes me gag.

What if you put peanut butter on it? Ranch?
-A veggie that you put peanut butter on? I'm not a five year old and you cannot drown this with enough of anything to make me wanna eat it! Sure, I'll try a nibble with a shot glass of ranch as a chaser please.

::pouty face, crossed arms, angry eyes::

The only thing I like about celery is the fact that they are negative calories. It burns more calories to chew them then to eat them. Darn...I'll just stick to ice.

Nemisis Numero DOS: PEAS

Some people say that peas taste like corn... I call those people crazies.
Some people say they don't taste like anything...I call those people "tastebudless"
To me, they taste like sweet yuckiness....I think I can be a food writer with all my descriptive words and all.

And it doesn't help that they look like giant boogers and have the same name as a bodily fluid.

Nemisis Numero UNO- Stinky Tofu

Ok, I need to preface this one. I am by no means trying to diss anyone's culture here. I am simply stating my own opinions. I don't want to be rude and I apologize to anyone that might take offense.

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD!!!

If you've hung out with me in the past week or so then you FOR SURE have heard my story of tasting stinky tofu. You have had the pleasure of watching my face turn all kinds of Exorcist and heard me heave like a drunk college kid.

So what is Stinky Tofu? Well, it is fermented tofu soaked in fermented veggies and fish brine....lovely.

What does it taste like you say?
I've read some reviews that describe it as "a used tampon that sat out in the sun of the HOT Sahara desert". I'd say it tasted like cow poop, mixed with the essence of a port-a-potty, with a slight hint of your meanest fart, baked into a newborn baby's diaper. Food and Wine magazine...are you looking for a new writer yet?

For Pete sake...Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods couldn't even choke it down!! And he eats everything from bugs to balls!
Watch this. (Fast forward to 4:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QNGPmuqa6s

Ugh...::shivers:: I can't...

So there are my top 3. What are your TOP 3 food foes?