Teacher Talk Tuesday: Back to Cool and Not So Cool School

It's that time of year again, the first day of school. Ahhh, the smell of new backpacks, freshly sharpened pencils, and fresh new kicks. It's exciting for both students and teachers.

Sure I am sad as hell that summer has come and gone, but it is nice to have a routine again. I've been a lazy lump of fat all summer and now it's time to get movin' and groovin'. Unfortunately, this does not agree with the swelling in my legs.

I tried to wear shoes but apparently my fat trunks don't fit anymore. So I am still rockin' my flip flops. Can you tell by the dirty tops that I've been wearing them too much? And are you judging me for being disgusting and showing you such a picture? Apologies.

Another enemy of mine is the heat. God help me. 104 degrees of butt ass heat all week. Hormones plus heat equals the death of me. Remind me to not to be pregnant during the hottest months of the year. Thank God for making these little tiny fans. I am so in love with this thing because it keeps me so comfy! And might I say yellow keeps a fellow happy at work!

Then there are these ants. Lots and lots of ants. My classroom is literally built on an ant mountain, freakin' The Andes of the ant colony I'm sure. All the classrooms in my building are infested. This is not pleasant. I especially love when they are crawling on my face while I'm trying to teach a lesson on the importance of being a responsible student. Luckily, I don't feel that bad for killing all of them and even wishing heartache to their little ant families at home.

As for my students, they are what we call Sweet and Lows. I teach the remedial math and reading class for the language learners so it was expected, but this year will definitely be a challenge. Nevertheless, they are darlings and nothing I can't handle. I showed em' who's boss.

And if all else fails, I'll just rub my belly and turn my pregnancy hormones up a notch or two and let them feel the wrath of a pregnant woman. I keed... I would never do that...play up my pain for sympathy....yes, but be a crazy biotch...no.

It's going to be a good year. I can feel it!

Teacher Talk Tuesday: Yoga is Necessary for Survival

Teaching is a stressful job. I would go out on a limb and say it's the most stressful job in the world. However, I've never been, say, a doctor, or a nurse, or a stripper, so I guess you can call me a little biased. I'm sure sliding down a pole and whipping your hair to and fro can be hard on the spinal cord.

Let me just give you a taste of some of the most stressful times that has happened during my 7 year teaching career...that qualifies as a legit time frame, by the way.

1. Once while I was teaching first grade, a student broke his fall by hitting his desk.....with his mouth. Imagine if you will, a 6 year old with blood gushing out of his mouth because his teeth were rammed into his gums. Too graphic for ya? Yeah, me too. Did I mention that was during my first year of teaching?

2. First grader throws up all over the carpet. That's not the start of a joke. This happens at least once a year and if you're lucky five times!

3. High Schoolers...'nuff said.

4. Learning the hard truth about your students. I had a student who was neglected at home, one who was slapped and beaten, one who was left to their own devices, one who was arrested for drug possession and grand theft auto, and one who slept on the floor of a garage with their brothers and sisters. I take these stories home with me and worry myself to sleep.

5. Oh, and I have to create and teach lessons, prepare students for state tests, get all my students proficient in all subjects, deal with backlash from parents, administrators, and the public, and make sure no child is left behind.

Holy. Crap.

Can you see why I need Yoga in my life? More importantly, I think the KIDS really need yoga. They go through some SHIZ!

Here are some of my favorite stress relieving poses:
1. Child's pose- Once that forehead hits the mat, shit gets real. Real good.


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2. Happy Baby pose- This one makes me feel all kinds of open and vulnerable. I feel unsexy in this pose because I'm pretty much spread eagle. But I feel happy, and that's all that matters.

.via.

3. Pigeon pose- My yoga instructor says you hold all of your stress in your hips. This pose will rip that right out of you. Hips, don't, lie. Right Shakira?

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4. Airplane pose- Nothing clears your mind like thinking you're going to face plant. You're so busy concentrating on not falling, that the stresses of your life takes a back seat.

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5. Savasana- They should just call this pose "Go to sleep now." It's minutes of just lying there, clearing your mind, and relaxing every particle of your being. If memory serves me right, I'm pretty sure that's called sleeping, but TomAto, Tomato.

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This is exactly what I look like, tongue out and all. 
In all seriousness, school is a stressful environment for all parties involved. Yoga is just something to ease the blow of all the craziness that ensues. Yoga keeps me sane for a few hours a week. Take a chance and try it out. Namaste, my friends.

Teacher Talk Tuesday: The Job Slump

Remember last year, when I thought I was going to die?

I was so painfully unhappy with my job that I dug myself into the deepest hole and became depressed. Luckily, there was a kitchen and Blogworld down there. 

Guys, I don't know how my poor husband survived last year because I ripped his head off almost everyday. I came home crying almost everyday and wanted to quit right then and there. I let 18 immature boys ruin not only my work life, but my personal life as well. WHY, Joanna?

Thanks, Poster, but it was really quite difficult. Besides the fact that I'm overdramatic, I'm also obsessive and a perfectionist. God broke the mold when he made me, huh? (I never thought I'd use that phrase) Put those all together and what do you get? A teacher who wanted to be liked by her students, do well on her test scores, and go home on time each day feeling like a million bucks. Pshh... yeah...right.

So, I survived it right? Barely. Time passed ever so slowly and I'm here with a fun story to tell. Here's my advice to those who are in a lemon patch right now. Eff making lemonade, you gotta take life by the horns and make something more satisfying than that.

1. Breathe and know that it's not personal. 

If you're like me, you might get paranoid that people hate you ALL the time. Please say it's not just me. A co-worker doesn't say good morning? I shift into "Uh oh. What's the last thing I said to her? Did I call her fat on accident? Is she mad at me? Oh crap, was I supposed to call her or something?"

A client, or in my case, 18 teenagers act like total monkies and throw shit at you all day at work? I start thinking "What can I do do change myself so that they would like me and respect me?" 

Honey, the world isn't about you sometimes and you really have to say "It's not me, it's YOU." Instead of thinking how I can change myself, I think about how I can change my way of thinking. Maybe your co-worker had a bad morning, didn't see you, or has to pee really really badly or maybe those clients are really just A-holes. In the equation of A-hole clients and you, you are the only one stressing. Stop.

2. Vent to the right people.

If you don't do this, you'll end up being angry and hurt. I vented to anyone and everyone who would listen, and sometimes those who just had ears. Thanks, Sonic. I told a lot of non-teachers and I would get the "Did you call their parents?" "You should try giving them a book they're interested in." "You should talk to my friend, she's a teacher." These people all mean well and I appreciate them trying to help, but REALLY? Sometimes people don't understand what your job entails and what you are truly going through. They want to help in their own way, but that way isn't going to sound helpful to you if you're already depressed and angry . Talk to someone you know will understand.



My teacher friends



3. Find a really good hobby.

This is pretty straightforward. Do something that will make you happy. I found plenty.

Running

Reading



Cooking funny looking Chicken Butts

Eating

and eating...

and eating.

Ok, that could be very dangerous, but for me it was my ultimate comfort. I did balance it with running so that made it ok.

4. Know that everything will be ok.

I'm living proof. Hated my job last year and now I am living the teacher dream. I have a wonderful class, an awesome principal who just lets me do my job, and very helpful co-workers. God handed me a challenge last year but I kept with it and now, he's showing me that life is good.

via

5. Lastly, don't kill anyone.

My hubby was so patient with me. He felt the wrath of my depression and anger and held me lovingly as I sobbed and wiped snot boogers all over him. I took out my anger on him and if he left me or if I killed him during one of my Mr. Hulk episodes, I would've lost the only person on earth who could put up with my crap. Thank God I made him good food or else I would've been crying to Sonic and he is no good at listening. Thank you, Hubby.

photobooth fun

• Do you have any advice to someone who hates their job?
• How do you get through a rough patch?

Eureka! Weekend Recap.

I went to my high school reunion this weekend. It wasn't what I thought it would be, maybe because I had Romy and Michelle in my head on the way there.

Unfortunately, my expectations of seeing that weirdo from my class who is now a Multi-Millionaire, or seeing the former Ms. Popular now sporting kankles, was not met at all. I think this was partly due to the fact that only 30 out of the 400 students from my class actually showed. Talk about school spirit. 

I still showed my school spirit! And I wore an embarrassing picture of my High School self. I haven't changed a bit, except my acne has finally subsided. THANK GOD!

But, I was still in good company and made the most out of it. I DID get to see some of my friends and that made up for it all. Oh and yes, there was a montage of pictures from good ol' 2001. I feel old because I don't remember taking any of those pictures. Here's another Mall Shot.

If you tell, I'm the dark shadow behind the white girl. See my teeth glistening in the light? My friend, Nicole and I had a good laugh at this one. Fast forward 10 years and my skin magically lightened.

It was so nice to catch up with old friends....



My cooking buddy Nolan! We were in Foods class together!



The Beautiful Bride to Be Crysal! So exciting!

I loved introducing everyone to my wonderful Hubby. So proud to flaunt this cutie pie!

On Sunday, my Kuya's friends from Washington came down. We had so much fun wine tasting...



San Antonio Winery



Taking this crazy Kookoo to the nearby "farm."

Watching him play in the water spouts....



The face of pure joy

And finally...Eureka!...burgers. 


This place is truly LEGIT! The meat, the bread, the beer, the fries....all AMAZING!

Such a wonderful weekend of good food and friends! Love it when that happens!

• What did you do this weekend?

The Most FAVORITE of them all.

Tomorrow is my last day of school. My last day of my first year teaching High School. The LAST day.
I. AM. SO. HAPPY!

VERY HAPYY!

Jumping in Jumpers HAPPY!

No more teaching those RUDE High School Boys.
No more staring at bullet holes.
No more pencils.
No more books.
No more Teacher's dirty looks.
...until August anyway. But still...I'm EX....wait for it...CITED!

I have some summer goals I'd like to accomplish. I'm going to go Cray Cray on this summmaaaaa!

1. Kick out this summer reading list

• Bossypants
• The Happiness Project
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
• Reread The Alchemist
• AND SO MANY MORE! **Any Recommendations?**

2. Jog at the beach. Sleep at the beach. Eat at the beach. Read at the beach. Make sandcastles with  paper cups...complete with the moat that will never hold water because the water just wont stay above the sand at the beach. NOT swim. at the beach (Maybe I should make "Learn to Swim" a goal?)

Barbados 2006 with my beautiful Auntie Irene

3. Organize the HECK out of our house. Purge all the closets. Get rid of the junk (T, can you please come over and help me with this? I'll pay you in....Crustables.) Put away wedding stuff...because the wedding has been over for 7 months now, Joanna!

4.  Be a better Blogger. I have been slacking on my Project Wifey Wife. I assure you that I have been eating good dinners, even if I haven't been posting them. And Hubby is being fed still, too. I have some summer recipes in mind and a new project in store. ::rubs hands together::  MWAHAHAH!

5. Jump back on the Healthy wagon. This is what I ate for dinner last night....

I didn't eat this ALL by myself. I had some help. But now I feel like I just murdered someone. Guilty. If I don't do something about this soon...someone will have to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun. I'm going to run my buh-dunka-dunk off...run like a tranquilizer fun is being aimed at my muffin top. Healthy eating. Heathy habits. Heathy feeling!

LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!

• What are you summer plans/goals?
• Any book recommendations for me?

Hope Dealer

I have 18 teenage boys in my 6th period remedial reading class. No Girls.

The district didn't have enough money last year. They pulled me from 1st Grade to teach High School.

I tried to be Edward James Olmos and help them Stand and Deliver.

I tried to be Michelle Pheiffer and help their Dangerous Minds.

You're "Waiting for Superman" ?  SO AM I...

How do you motivate the unmotivated?

It was a Red Velvet Cheesecake for dinner kind of day.

Tell me Blogger Family:

• Tell me about your Favorite HS teacher.
• How did they motivate, encourage, and inspire?

Taco Salad Tuesday

Whew! What a day! We had CAHSEE (Cali High School Exit Exam) testing all day today and teaching all 6 periods afterwards.... and here's the kicker... I didn't have coffee! What what? I was definitely in a funky monkey mood after that. We have to do it aaaallll over again tomorrow...Help!

I'm sorry to my hubby for having to marry such a hideous creature! This is what I look like when I'm complaining...which is 75% of my day.... I must do something about this.

Even if it so I won't look like this monstrocity.

To make it worse, Hubs has to work late all week and wont be having dinner with me. I'm back to cooking for ONE!
 ::refer back to top picture...apologies::

I miss him already...

Today I opted for a Salad....What the HECK is wrong with me? Choosing salad over....anything, is really out of character for me. I must be coming down with something.

Taco Salad...The Lazy version...

Mix, half pound of ground turkey, half can of black beans, and half packet of taco seasoning.

In a separate bowl, mix 2 tomatoes, 1 green bell pep, 1 small onion, 1 Tbs of fresh cilantro, and the juice of one lime. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Layer... bleh...giraffe food...

Add the turkey bean stuff, salsa stuff, avo, cheeeeeese, and a dollop heaping ice cream scoop of sour cream...hey don't judge, it's the "light" version... I have permission.

I threw in a Cheese Quesadilla for good keeping... and good keeping it was. Do you like my "cherry" on top? Cute no?

Now comment below,  What should I do with these leftovers? Be creative!