Ode to Running

Ode to Running

What's the point of running?

What reason could there be?

Running twenty-six miles

Makes no sense to me.

We have planes, trains, and automobiles,

Helicopters scooters, and boats.

And if you really, really need to

You could even ride a goat.

With all these options to move you

Why would you want to run?

Compared to running for hours

Riding a goat sounds like fun.

Running makes you sweaty

And tired and cranky and sore,

And running around in circles

Can be really quite a bore.

But the worst part of running,

What drives me out of my mind,

Are the Chipper Happy Runners

Who are Chipper and Happy all the time.

They get up at 7 am

To run too many miles

And whether it's Mile 1, 5, or 10,

Their faces are covered with smiles.

I fear that I'm outnumbered,

And they're trying to wear me down,

They're trying to make me chipper,

But all I can do is frown.

But I'll be nice to the Chipper People

And I'll tolerate their smiles,

Cause they have so much friggin' energy

Maybe I can ride their backs for awhile.

-Dawn Dais

Due to the unnecessarily ridonkulous heat here in Southern Cali, I have put a hold on running. I tried a couple of times in the past few months, but because I don't have access to a treadmill, running outside has been only a wish from the stars (that phrase totally came out of my poop chute). Meaning, running outside is something I refuse to do. Running in 106 degree heat? Ummm...no thank you, Sir.

Surprisingly enough, my body has been craving a good run, which is a break from the french fries and Red Velvet Ding dong cravings it usually has. So if you crave something enough, God says, in his baritone voice, "OK." poof Prayer request accepted. Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus.

My new school has a pretty sweet Fitness Center that the teachers have access to and the moment I found out that they had a treadmill I jumped at the chance to use it! I mean, it's no 24 hour Fitness in there, but if I close my eyes and block out the sweaty stench of puberty, it is worlds better than running outdoors in Hades Southern Cali.

It was my first time on a tready and it was a little slice of ego-pie for me. Outdoors I can only run for about 20 minutes at a 10:00 pace before having to take a minute to pick my lungs up off the pavement. But on the treadmill, I ran for a full 30 at an 11:00 pace with both of my lungs A-okay. It was nice!

I miss running. I've also been reading this hilarious book, T lent me.

Dawn Dais is so comedy. I want to be her running buddy. She wrote that poem up top, that pretty much forced me to laugh snot bubbles out of my nose. I don't have any immediate plans to run a marathon or even a half because my goal is to keep working up to it. I want to do more 5Ks then 10Ks, then eventually run some halves and fulls. Who am I, Miss I can't remember to take my inhaler, to run something I'm not ready for. I run to beat of my own drum.... or something like that.

Here's to cooler days, faster runs, and craploads of motivation to get me off my butt imprint in my couch.

• Are you a runner?
• Treadmill vs. Outdoors, which do you prefer?