Drizzles of Sunshine: Anti-Bathing Suits

1. Only two and a half more days and ::cue the music:: SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! I am ready to send my little middle school bunnies off into the sunset. This school year was nothing exciting. I was on maternity leave in the winter which made it impossible to come back. Since then, I've just been in survival mode with an extra fueling of cafe con leche de soy. Stick a fork in me.

2. Hubby and I took Joaquin to his first Gymboree class. I don't know who was more excited me or Baby boy. Probably me because singing in a circle is just my cup of tea. Where is Thumpkin? has been in my head for DAYS and I am ok with that. Must be the first grade teacher in me. Joaquin loved the drums and the maracas. It was so much fun to watch him eat the instruments. Hopefully one day, he will be a maraca phenom and we can all laugh at this picture.

3. I'm debating if I should sign up for Mommy and Me Swimming Classes. You see, I don't know how to swim. I can imagine myself asking for an extra pair of floaties and having panic attacks when it's Joaquin's turn to jump off the diving board. Ok, my fears are totally unlikely but I really don't want to pass my fear on to him. I want him to be a maraca playing merman. He's going to swim. What I'm trying to say is, who wants to take him?

4. Speaking of swimming. I tried on my first one piece bathing suit. This led to me getting stuck in my first one piece bathing suit. What had happened was, I chose a really cute black one that was way too small for my post preggos body. I pulled and tugged that shit on and whaddya know... my arms are too weak to pull it off over my head and my hips are too wide to pull them down. I was effin' STUCK! I spent a good 20 minutes... I kid you not... thinking of a plan to get myself out! I thought about asking the changing room attendant to help me, but that would entail having to show her my boobies. I also thought about just putting on my clothes over it and stealing it, but that would entail me being a criminal. I resorted to taking a few deep breaths and pulling it down over my hips. This was no easy feat. I had to rearrange my butt fat, shimmy and shout, and cry and laugh at the same time. After my ego was fully deflated and a few threads had been torn, I was free. I was mortified, defeated, and I'm never wearing a bathing suit again. Since then, I've had nightmares about bathing suits  I have been working out.

5. Summer, I'm ready for you. Bathing Suits, eat shit. (Sorry, Mom)


  1. Haha I love what you wrote in number four!I just tried on my first one piece too and all I can say is swimsuits are pretty much the stupidest invention ever...especially after you've had a baby :) I hope you enjoy every moment of summer with Joaquin!!

  2. Hahahaha stuck in a bathing suit - I guess there's a first time for everything!

  3. I will take Joaquin swimming! OR you can just come over and learn how to swim.

  4. BAHAHAHA, love your swimsuit story! And so glad you got out. I've gotten stuck in dresses before + had the same panic of "do i call to the attendant for help? or just rip myself out of here and flee?" You'll have to report back on what you decide about swim classes, too - sounds fun!

  5. Oh my gosh that bathing suit story is downright hilarious. And mortifying. Ohhh my gosh. I can't believe you don't know how to swim! Take the kid to mommy and me, I seriously doubt you'll regret it :)

  6. New follower! Found your blog through Brittany's (Fun with the Fullwoods). You are HILARIOUS! I have totally been there, stuck in clothing in a dressing room! Does your heart suddenly start to race and you get hot flashes? Because that has happened to me and it is NOT fun! 26 year olds shouldn't be getting hot flashes.... ha! Can't wait to read more!


  7. try taking off a one piece when it is wet! I love one pieces though! no more two pieces for me!
    we are having this exact thing going on right now! I really want to get P in swim lessons, but I also can't swim! I think it's time we sign up for adult swim lessons...we have to be able to keep up with these kiddos! let's do it okay!?

  8. yes you can do the mommy & me swim classes! :) I took lilly and she loved it! and we never went in water deeper than my waist :) you can do it! I believe in you!
    as for bathing suit shopping, you are my hero. i am nowhere near brave enough to try that yet!


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