I have to be honest and say that these past few weeks, although filled with magical moments, has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Baby blues hit me like a freggin' hurricane and I sobbed uncontrollably EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I heard crying sounds coming from my own mouth that I've never heard before. Even Baby Joaquin was like "What the hell, Mom! Why are YOU crying?" When I am in these deep holes of emotion, I often wonder if I'm cut out for this "mom gig." Hubby really had to dig me out of some really dark moments and there were even times I pulled him right down there with me. I felt so alone even though I was surrounded by everything a woman could ever want out of life. Dammit Hormones! I really had a difficult time with breastfeeding, getting up every 2 hours, going out in public, and even interacting with friends and family. I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for a redonkulous amount of days.
Then I remembered I AM a mom now and this little guy is counting on me. I remembered that newborns can pick up on mommy's stress and I couldn't deal with the thought of ruining my kid's life already. There will be times for that...like showing the video of his first bath at his 18th birthday party in front of all his friends and his stupid girlfriend, who I'm sure I'll hate. So in true obsessive compulsive and teacher lady form, I started a plan of action.....an IEP (for all you teacher friends out there)for myself to fight the blues.
1. Organize....in a cute organizer.
Ummm, I'm TOTALLY obsessed with my new planner. If you're into the good ol' paper organizers, check out ErinCondren.com. Her planners are so cute and functional. I am in organize heaven! I made it a point to plan out family walks, visits from friends, and simple trips to the market so I can feel productive. Those were the things that made me feel "normal."
I also love my Baby Daze tracker. Totally unnecessary but helps the OCD monster in me to keep track of every poop and pee that lil' man makes. That info will make for beautiful keepsake moments, no?
2. Don't be a Vampire Slug
People say to sleep when baby sleeps but when I did that, I felt like a vampire slug living in a dark house with the curtains always drawn shut. I needed to get some fresh air everyday. My little family and I went on our first walk around the block days after Joaquin's birth. We all loved it, especially Sonic. This helped with my sanity and my c-section recovery.
3. Take a damn shower
Since my c-section, my incision site open once. Lovely. I had to take a trip to the ER, they drained it, and told me to sponge bath myself for a few days. Sponge baths are hard if you don't have a nurse on hand to wipe you down the correct way. Sure I have a husband, but it is too early in my life for him to wipe my butt. When I got the green light to take a full shower, I danced...carefully, with joy. Showers are your friend and you should take one...even if it lasts a whole 2 minutes.
-cracked and bleeding nipples
If you plan on breastfeeding, make sure you do your research on these things. I really thought that breastfeeding would be as easy as slapping the baby on your teet and letting him go at it, create a magical bond, blah blah blah..... no. Nobody told me that breastfeeding can be so hard!
I am a firm believer in "Happy Wife, Happy Life." Same goes for being a mom, too. If mommy isn't happy, then all hell will break loose in the house and everyone will be miserable. One struggle I had, and continue to have on occasion is breastfeeding. I want to write a full post about my battle with this, but in short, I had to do what was right for me. It seems like right now, the push is for breastfeeding and anything else is poison apparently. I felt the pressure hardcore and had to find ways to come to terms with what works for me and what wont drive me up the wall. In a nutshell, I hate breastfeeding...yes I said it...I hate it. I decided that the best thing for me right now is to exclusively pump and supplement if I need to.
Remember when I said I'd post the recipe for the pumpkin white chocolate chip cookies...yeah well, I had a baby and I totally forgot. Mommy brain? Better late than never.
FYI- I subbed the pumpkin spice and puree for a lazy can of pumpkin pie puree and I nixed the frosting and dusted it with powdered sugar.
|Yummy recipe here!|
I also did a my first TIM TAM SLAM! Oh, it's a thing. Google it. It's going to be big like Gangnam style. Mark my chocolate faced words.
For all you new mommies out there.... hang in there. It does get better. Atleast that's what everyone keeps telling me.