Random Wednesday: Priorities

1. I'm giving up Facebook. My promise was to give it up for a week. I only failed once. I'm ashamed that my willpower is so weak that I HAD to check it. Did I find anything cool on my "give in check?" NO! Same ol' Like this picture because I want a puppy, Like this picture if you don't want to go to Hell, Like my picture because I went to the club this weekend and I'm showing my boobies. Wow, I am addicted to what now? Yeah, I'm definitely going to do this.

2. I have 5 drafts of unfinished posts in my Blogger. I write them during my lunch, on my phone, or when I'm on the loo, but I'm big on pictures and I can't upload pictures quickly at any of those times. I like to post lots of pictures because I like blogs with lots of pictures. I would rather gawk at pictures than read sometimes. I'm a first grader apparently.

3. Tonight, I will be making Pineapple Fried Rice, but with quinoa. All I can think about is that I'm going to hate it. I tried quinoa and I'm not a fan of the texture. I want to like it, mostly because I bought a big box of it and I don't want to waste it. If you have any recipes that I might fancy, please pass them to me.

4. Joaquin is starting to get a little too attatched to me. Sometimes he wants just me and only the warmth of my arms. I love it.

5. I really hope my dinner turns out edible.

6. I'm not posting pictures today. The first grader in me is crying.

So We Meet Again, Mr. Celery.

Today my tastebuds went for a ride. Some parts of the ride were fun and exciting, orgasmic if you will. Others were throw-up all over your shirt fun but minus the fun. The new year makes me want to try new things and now I understand that some of those things are not nice.

I started my morning off with a bang bang and by that I mean I nearly shot and killed my tastebuds and colon. I tried The Glowing Green Smoothie from The Beauty Detox Solution book.

Now, I really like this book and I feel like it has some awesome pointers and factiods. Plus, Kimberly is gorgeous and certainly has that "glow" to her. She is purdy. I would like whatever she's having. Hence, me attempting her smoothie recipe. I'm already hooked on Green Monsters so I figured this shouldn't be that bad.

Got to use my new blender. YIPEE!

 Project Wifey Wife- The Savory?
The Glowing Green Smoothie

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups water
1 head organic romaine lettuce, chopped
handful or two of organic spinach
2-4 stalks of celery
1 organic apple, chopped
1 organic pear, chopped
1 organic banana
Juice of 1/2 lemon
Handful of ice for easy drinking

1. Blend into a smooth consistency

The Verdict?

If you remember my post about my food foes then you know that celery is at the tip top of that list. I hate it. I hoped that by mixing it in with the other ingredients that racid taste would just be overpowered so I can drink it and be a happy healthy bear. I hate being wrong. All I could taste was the celery and I even cheated and put just 2...small stalks! **If you like celery then you will have no problem with this. I'm sure it's good to someone who is friends with Mr. Celery.

I wanted to like it, I really did. I even put it in a fancy glass to make me feel all important and crap. Nope, my taste buds were not havin' it. Regardless, I forced my body and my mind into submission and forced down one glass . It turns out that I'm not forceful enough because I only drank a little more than half. But, let me  tell you, ::whisper voice:: just that little bit helped my stomach clear some gunk if your know what I mean. poop.

And, the celery taste lasted well into the afternoon and lingered into my burps. GROSS!

But then...HEAVEN! I went to a French cafe (California Eats post coming soon!) and had this with french bread. It makes me want to cry it's so damn good.

This was made from the tears of angels. I know it! My friend Jen and I thought this was a nutbutter of some sort but later discovered that it's crushed cookies and honey butter. HOLY MOLY! Think Biscoff Cookie. I was in another world when this was in my mouth. I want to marry this and have all the Speculoos babies....Duggar style.

But, sad sad sad news. When I went to purchase this jar of magic, the evil lady at the counter told me that they are all SOLD OUT! I should've known.
"Kind Lady, when will your next shipment arrive?"
"We only order it at Christmas and when it's out, we don't order anymore."

Foodie...Heart....Crushed.

If you can find this for me I will give you $1,000,000 cash money...or $10.95, which ever my bank account allows. Please. I will be your best friend.

Phil A. O'Fish

I want to start by saying that you are more than welcome to use chicken for this recipe. I realize that there are many people out there, most of which are in my Google circle of friends (I still don't get Google +) do not like fish. I don't understand this blanket of a statement. I mean, there are so many types of fish out there. I really can't see how you can dislike all fish. Wouldn't you say that's a little racist? Animalist? Fishist? Do I have to even say it? There are many fish in the sea. And in the ocean for that matter. So, in conclusion, I ask that if you are a fish hater, give another type of fish a chance before you go around hatin' on all fish. And that was your PSA on Fish lovin'.

Ok, ok, I keed. I understand a hate for a particular food... remember all the foods I can't stand? ::shivers:: If someone tried to feed me something on my list, I'd SOOOOO unfriend them off of my Facebook.



Week #20

Tortilla Chip-Crusted Fish with Creamy Salsa & Cilantro

adapted from Bride and Groom First and Forever Cookbook. Awwww.

Ingredients

2 white fish fillets (Halibut, Tilapia, or any other white fish)

Salt

1/2 Tbs ground cumin

2 Tbs melted unsalted butter

1 Tbs fresh lime juice (I put  loads more. I love my citrus!)

2 handfuls of tortilla chips (hint of lime flavor FTW!)

3/4 cup medium salsa

3 Tbs sour cream

2 Tbs fresh chopped cilantro

Remember when my hubby brought home a freggin' XL satchel full of fish? I had the pleasure of gouging my fingers trying to fillet them all. I just had to point that out again. Point is, I have no idea what these fish are called. I don't know if they're halibut or some exotic fish that we just poisoned ourselves with.

Dear Phil,

I am so very sorry for doing what I did to you. You are such an honorable creature that put its life on the line for my selfish food dreams. I hope you can forgive me one day.

Love, Me

After hours upon hours of poking and snipping plus 5 band-aids later, I finally "filleted" it.

Cover with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Uncover and cook for 10 more minutes.

In the meanwhile,

Top with the salsa mixture and cilantro, and put those fillets atop some yummy cilantro rice. This really was a great and refreshing dish! And for all you fish haters out there...give it a try. If you don't like it, give it to me, no questions asked. I'll take care of it...and take care of you, friend.

• Fish lover or hater?
• Cilantro lover or hater?

Red, White, and Blue in the Face

This weekend (and every other weekend) I do this thing where I let everything about myself go on rest mode. I sleep in, I don't do any hardcore cleaning, and I pretend that calories are some made-up lie that the devil created to make us unhappy. I eat to my little tummy's content...well... I eat until my little tummy is about to throw up my insides. ::le sigh::

I love food. I hate food. I love food. I hate food.

This weekend I over did it. I didn't think you could feel DRUNK off of food, but leave it to me to get NOM NOM WASTED! I saw, I ate, I conquered and now I feel like that little hussy doing the walk of shame home at 8 in the morning, hair a-frazzled, feeling regret, guilt, and like a food whore.

Here's what I remember before I blacked out from my self-induced food binge.

I am ashamed. (I didn't eat this all in one sitting, btw)

But the good thing about this thing we call life, is that we have more days that the Lord has blessed us with, to recoup and repent.

Here is what I do to make up for a food filled weekend:

1. Forgive myself and move on. Can't feel sorry for myself for too long or I will eat myself into a depression. No lie. I'm an emotional eater.

2. Plan for the days ahead. I sit down with my planner and stuff each day silly with fruits and vegetables and things that will make my body happy and healthy. I plan each meal to the very last morsel so I will be less likely to stray.

3. Workout. UGH! Boy do I hate working out when I feel guilty. I cried this morning when Jillian on the DVD yelled at me. I must work off the bad food vibes that I put in my body!

4. Load up on Green Monsters. Spinach is a super food that can help your body recover!

5. No punishment. I don't believe in self-abuse. I'm not going to deprive myself of anything. Eat in moderation. We all know exactly what we need to do to make our bodies strong and healthy. Do your best.

Let's hope for a healthy week. I hope I don't have a hangover.

• Tell me one thing you do to recover from eating WAY too much.
• Tell me one of your yummy guilty pleasures.

Butter Weight

Me: I wonder if I could fit into my Wedding Dress.

::In unison, with urgency and desperation in their voice...::

Husband and My Own Mother: NO! Don't! You'll rip it.

Women who have been married for 20 years often say, "Gee, I wish I could fit into my wedding dress."
I've been married for 6 months. I wish I could fit into my wedding dress.

I guess I should lay off the butter for awhile. People are starting to notice.

My food foes

I was inspired to write this blog post because I recently ate something that was probably the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. Even now, as I have violent flashbacks of the horrific-ness that was that food, I cringe and gag.

There aren't many foods that I HATE... only three that comes to mind. Funny thing is, if put in front of me, I will try it again, just to be sure that I do indeed, hate it. I will try anything two or three times...and sometimes maybe even more. I'm forgiving that way...

Here are my Top 3 foods I HATE and will rarely, if ever, cook with. So if you want to participate in my Send me a Project Wifey Wife Recipe, please refrain from these ingredients.

Nemesis Numero Tres- Celery

What? How can you not like celery? It taste like air.
-Ummm... first of all, ::BonQuisha neck roll:: it does NOT taste like air, it taste like celery and it makes me gag.

What if you put peanut butter on it? Ranch?
-A veggie that you put peanut butter on? I'm not a five year old and you cannot drown this with enough of anything to make me wanna eat it! Sure, I'll try a nibble with a shot glass of ranch as a chaser please.

::pouty face, crossed arms, angry eyes::

The only thing I like about celery is the fact that they are negative calories. It burns more calories to chew them then to eat them. Darn...I'll just stick to ice.

Nemisis Numero DOS: PEAS

Some people say that peas taste like corn... I call those people crazies.
Some people say they don't taste like anything...I call those people "tastebudless"
To me, they taste like sweet yuckiness....I think I can be a food writer with all my descriptive words and all.

And it doesn't help that they look like giant boogers and have the same name as a bodily fluid.

Nemisis Numero UNO- Stinky Tofu

Ok, I need to preface this one. I am by no means trying to diss anyone's culture here. I am simply stating my own opinions. I don't want to be rude and I apologize to anyone that might take offense.

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD!!!

If you've hung out with me in the past week or so then you FOR SURE have heard my story of tasting stinky tofu. You have had the pleasure of watching my face turn all kinds of Exorcist and heard me heave like a drunk college kid.

So what is Stinky Tofu? Well, it is fermented tofu soaked in fermented veggies and fish brine....lovely.

What does it taste like you say?
I've read some reviews that describe it as "a used tampon that sat out in the sun of the HOT Sahara desert". I'd say it tasted like cow poop, mixed with the essence of a port-a-potty, with a slight hint of your meanest fart, baked into a newborn baby's diaper. Food and Wine magazine...are you looking for a new writer yet?

For Pete sake...Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods couldn't even choke it down!! And he eats everything from bugs to balls!
Watch this. (Fast forward to 4:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QNGPmuqa6s

Ugh...::shivers:: I can't...

So there are my top 3. What are your TOP 3 food foes?