Remember last year, when I thought
I was going to die?
I was so
painfully unhappy with my job that I dug myself into the deepest hole and
became depressed. Luckily, there was a kitchen and Blogworld down there.
Guys, I don't know how my poor husband survived last year because I ripped his head off almost everyday. I came home crying almost everyday and wanted to quit right then and there. I let 18 immature boys ruin not only my work life, but my personal life as well. WHY, Joanna?
Thanks, Poster, but it was really quite difficult. Besides the fact that I'm overdramatic, I'm also obsessive and a perfectionist. God broke the mold when he made me, huh? (I never thought I'd use that phrase) Put those all together and what do you get? A teacher who wanted to be liked by her students, do well on her test scores, and go home on time each day feeling like a million bucks. Pshh... yeah...right.
So, I survived it right? Barely. Time passed ever so slowly and I'm here with a fun story to tell. Here's my advice to those who are in a lemon patch right now. Eff making lemonade, you gotta take life by the horns and make something more satisfying than that.
1. Breathe and know that it's not personal.
If you're like me, you might get paranoid that people hate you ALL the time. Please say it's not just me. A co-worker doesn't say good morning? I shift into "Uh oh. What's the last thing I said to her? Did I call her fat on accident? Is she mad at me? Oh crap, was I supposed to call her or something?"
A client, or in my case, 18 teenagers act like total monkies and throw shit at you all day at work? I start thinking "What can I do do change myself so that they would like me and respect me?"
Honey, the world isn't about you sometimes and you really have to say "It's not me, it's YOU." Instead of thinking how I can change myself, I think about how I can change my way of thinking. Maybe your co-worker had a bad morning, didn't see you, or has to pee really really badly or maybe those clients are really just A-holes. In the equation of A-hole clients and you, you are the only one stressing. Stop.
2. Vent to the right people.
If you don't do this, you'll end up being angry and hurt. I vented to anyone and everyone who would listen, and sometimes those who just had ears. Thanks, Sonic. I told a lot of non-teachers and I would get the "Did you call their parents?" "You should try giving them a book they're interested in." "You should talk to my friend, she's a teacher." These people all mean well and I appreciate them trying to help, but REALLY? Sometimes people don't understand what your job entails and what you are truly going through. They want to help in their own way, but that way isn't going to sound helpful to you if you're already depressed and angry . Talk to someone you know will understand.
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My teacher friends |
3. Find a really good hobby.
This is pretty straightforward. Do something that will make you happy. I found plenty.
Running
Reading
Eating
and eating...
and eating.
Ok, that could be very dangerous, but for me it was my ultimate comfort. I did balance it with running so that made it ok.
4. Know that everything will be ok.
I'm living proof. Hated my job last year and now I am living the teacher dream. I have a wonderful class, an awesome principal who just lets me do my job, and very helpful co-workers. God handed me a challenge last year but I kept with it and now, he's showing me that life is good.
5. Lastly, don't kill anyone.
My hubby was so patient with me. He felt the wrath of my depression and anger and held me lovingly as I sobbed and wiped snot boogers all over him. I took out my anger on him and if he left me or if I killed him during one of my Mr. Hulk episodes, I would've lost the only person on earth who could put up with my crap. Thank God I made him good food or else I would've been crying to Sonic and he is no good at listening. Thank you, Hubby.
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photobooth fun |